Narcissism is a personality trait that involves an inflated self-image, addiction to fantasy, and a lack of empathy or concern for others. People with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have a distorted sense of their importance and need constant admiration and validation. They often use demeaning and manipulative language to belittle and control others, especially those who are close to them, or pose a threat to their ego.
In this article, we will explore 12 everyday things that narcissists say to undermine, hurt, or manipulate their victims and how to respond to them.
1. You’re too sensitive
Narcissists often use this phrase to dismiss your feelings and make you doubt your reality. They want you to feel guilty for having a normal emotional reaction to their abuse. They also want to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and shift the blame to you.
How to respond:
Don’t let them invalidate your emotions. You have the right to feel what you feel, and you don’t need their approval or permission. You can say something like, “I’m not too sensitive. I’m appropriately sensitive. You’re being disrespectful and hurtful, and I won’t tolerate it.”
2. You’re crazy
Narcissists like to gaslight their victims, which means they try to make them question their sanity and memory by lying, denying, or twisting the truth. They want to make you feel confused and insecure, so you depend on them for your sense of reality.
How to respond:
Don’t let them confuse you. Trust your intuition and your memory. You can say something like, “I’m not crazy. I’m sane. You’re lying and trying to manipulate me, and I won’t fall for it.”
3. You’re selfish
Narcissists are the ones who are selfish, but they project their flaws onto others. They accuse you of being selfish when you don’t do what they want when you set boundaries, or when you prioritize your own needs. They want to make you feel guilty and ashamed, so you give in to their demands.
How to respond:
Don’t let them shame you. You have the right to take care of yourself and your interests. You can say something like, “I’m not selfish. I’m self-respecting. You’re being unreasonable and demanding, and I won’t sacrifice myself for you.”
